“Saturday night at the office, I’m the new girl and I’m here for the night shift. My sleep pattern’s been all over the place and getting enough hours in all senses is the issue that I fight with.
Feet are screaming with pain but it feels great to showcase responsibility and a new bit of financial gain.
Grasping the fact that life has just changed and feeling like time is something to take for granted is now a feeling that nothing will ever be the same.
But shoutout to me for stepping up to the plate and realizing that I just want to be amazing and great.
I believe that’s my fate.
Still trying to get in where I fit in, all while trying to catch up on making a living. The years I’ve been missing, to my former self I’m just trying to be forgiving.
The story of a smart girl, just learning to adapt to the real world.
Learning to understand, how some things never go according to plan.
After ending a long chapter where I constantly questioned my worth, I came to learn that it was important to start putting my ambitions first.
Planting the seed in a lighter scene of establishments, I’ve been blessed to grow in a short amount of time and damn it feels fabulous.
Working hard and speaking softly, while watching other peers having playful discussions over lukewarm coffee. The smell of the signature in the air popping, and seeing the quantity of candy and the cup inventory constantly dropping.
At this point I’m not speaking much, but making sure my ethic and methods comes in clutch.
Leaving room for curiosity in everyone’s mind. They’re searching for the girl in me who’s louder. But I’ve taken my sweet time to bloom my personality like a delicate flower.
It feels nice to hold that power.
But I’m just a girl,
Respectful, hard-working and kind.
I have things to prove but it’s taken no time to get into the groove.
I’m simply making moves.
The films of the time are playing with messages relaying, and conveying how they probably aren’t worth what all of the people are paying.
I mean shyt I’m just saying.
Days like this fly and quickly approaching outside is the night sky.
The rain falls and it’s a little dead tonight, but the quiet with the radio in the background is making it alright.
Dealing with dry business spells, I feel compelled, to keep myself busy and just try to carry on well.
Filling ice to brims, just giving my arms the exercise like I’m over at the gym.
Cleaning away the fog and prints of the unknown, and in the air is the smell of the superior’s choice of mixed soft drinks and strong cologne.
Working tonight alongside the soulful man of experience with looks no older than the age of 24. He managed in a matter of minutes to strip down my guard and pick me apart by my mental core, quite an approach coming from a guy I’ve never met before.
My pride is my biggest protection which makes it my greatest weapon, but little did I know he was going to teach me some lessons.
Not even in disguise, this man is a blessing.
Diving into the subjects of love and happiness, I’m a question mark to him and with all of the details that make up who I am, he’s just so damn curious.
Connecting over separate circumstances and learning how special we both are and how deserving we are of the world giving our talents chances.
The quickness of my intellect and responses left him yearning to know more and my comfort from his mental company had me feeling a way for sure.
Quite the conversation we shared, so random and full of insight, I had no idea that I’d become the narrator of my life to him that night.
Stimulated mentally, by a guy who constantly approaches the mystery of my life gently.
He’s attractive, and his passion is combative. He’s still so strong even when he feels like the world is coming at him.
A sinister and soft smile and a sense of humor worthwhile.
He takes my breath away whenever he’s near. He’s got no idea how intoxicating he is, kicking my urges for more of him into high gear. There’s no fear.
I feel myself falling and going weak in the knees from the projection of his heavy energy. The essence of his intellect pouring into me so heavenly.
He’s been blessed with a talent and a mindset so unique, where you just couldn’t find the right compliments on him to speak.
I don’t think he’ll ever understand how much he’s inspired me. It’s mental and artistic explosion when we conspire.
He’s touched my soul and manipulated the beating of my heavy heart. But I’ve known I shouldn’t play this game or explore the possibility in this place from the start.
Like a section in a store that you can’t afford, or a dream at night, it’s clear to imagine but completely impossible to pursue this.
Maybe I need to just stop it. Knowing deep down that he’s a guy that only platonically I’ll probably have the chance to rock with.
So let me switch the topic, before I get in my feelings and the matters of what I want from him drive me to go all philosophic.
Well I see that my mind is quite the beautiful prophet.
Time is passing and I find myself laughing, just thinking about how quickly feeling some kind of comfort in this place has happened.
Working my ass off to get compensated like it’s half off, but I’m blessed like God just tipped his hat off.
The day to put myself first, and remind me of my arrival on earth, is creeping in. Maybe I could give myself the gift of sleeping in.
But that wouldn’t be fair to the opportunities trying to work their way in. I can probably come in and get a work day in.
The gift to keep giving, while blessed to still be living, and given, a fighting chance to continue making adult decisions.
Downward the atmosphere of the day starts to whine. And it’s close to approaching quitting time.
Trying to make sure everything along with the conscience of my mind is swept clean and that me and my peer work well together as a dream team.
Putting things away along with the energy of verbal communication I’ve had to display.
But hey, it’s been a good day.
I make my way to cut the lights out and I wonder what my thoughts tonight getting back home will be about.
Damn it’s so crazy, how much I’ve been wondering about lately.
Now that my nights are taken and consist of money that I’m making, should it follow with a man to call my baby? Or I become somebody’s lady?
Do I crawl further down in my bag and become shady?
Chop my hair, pierce my nose and do a 180?
Nah, I guess I can take it slow
Give myself some time to grow.
Finally I’m punching out for the night. Mentally preparing for the work expected of me tomorrow night, I’m ready to take on the tasks of life, with all of my might and put up a good fight…
But for now, I lay naked in my bed,
with all my close shed and my hunger fed,
and this here means good night.”