Love/Defeat

Love/Defeat
By: VLB

” Like a 6th grade girl writing “his”‘ name in hearts in her diary, the desire I had for you was burning and fiery.

I thought about you all the time, just hearing your name excited me like a criminal commiting his crime.

That day in the spring we spent together after many months, the scent of your cologne made me weak, and after you left, sprung words were the only ones I could speak.

I fantasized about what we could be almost every night, and even the temptation from my intimate thoughts was hard to fight.

I’ve never fell for anyone the way I fell for you. It was absolutely insane how much my feelings grew.

My every thought and sight was you, my infatuation was so deep it bled from my heart and down into my shoes.

Our friendship got stronger, and the duration of our quality time got longer.

There started to be more honest bonding and affection, you gave me confidence to look in the mirror and love my reflection.

Little did you know, everytime you hugged me I never wanted to let go. You saw right through to my soul. You made me feel whole .

I finally had the nerve to tell you how I feel and express how my love for you was real.

But you insisted on telling me the best news, so I took the spotlight off my heart for a second and gave the floor to you.

Then you dropped the biggest bomb on me. You said how your heart was no longer free.

You were so bashful but in my mind I thought, “You asshole !”

Because I knew there and then there was someone better, someone else. I lost all the butterflies that grew inside of myself.

My heart started to cry, but on the outside I had to keep my eyes dry.

I put up the front to be supportive and strong, so you wouldn’t figure out what you said to me was wrong.

Unfortunately it was that moment, that all the love I had for you inside my heart was nothing but hopeless.

The way you talked about her, made me believe what she’s giving you made your heart scream louder.

You said she’s the one, and how you always have fun. It slowly dried my soul like a raisin in the sun. Felt like I got shot in my heart with my own gun.

I fell so hard, that I hurt my knee . and I thought you’d give me the bandaid and take good care of me.

Boy you had my heart, I thought love would be our represented art, but she was your canvas all along, and my hopes of us were all torn apart.

It sucks cause I wanted to be yours so bad, but you wanted someone else and it made the root of my soul beyond sad.

You were the guy that completed my world, but now I know you were already happy with a better girl.

The hardest part is that you never got to know, how the love from my heart could of made you grow.

I wanted you to be the one to put an end to my streak of repeats. You could’ve been another love but became another defeat. ”