“Sometimes you wanna just lie in your bed and think about what has happened over the course of your life. Many things have soothed your well being and other events have cut you like a knife.
Lately it’s been a really rough time and it’s harder to smile than cry. If I could, I’d hit the easy button at the drop of a dime.
Nights have gotten more than intense and it’s left me to say how this all makes absolutely no sense.
My stress and anxiety have given me terrible physical & mental feelings. Sometimes they get so high that they easily pass the ceiling.
Sometimes I wonder how this all just happened to me. My worst has just come out so rapidly.
I’ve felt like such a disappointment in my own eyes and I like to fill my head with lies, because for that moment they never fail to satisfy.
Now it’s to the point where I always put up my wall, so in the end, I’ll never ever fall.
Its been so hard for me to just enjoy life’s little things and when I think about how scared I’ve become of myself and what life may throw next, it hurts like bee stings.
I just wish at least one person could take the time to just understand my pain. But I’m forgetting how selfish people have become these days.
I wonder what happened to the girl I used to be. I’m drained now and my reality has been heavily abusing me.
I know that life is what you make it, but why is it when I try to enjoy it I still feel naked?
It’s like the good in me has just been stolen and everything has hit me so hard, my soul is the one thing that’s still swollen.
I just wanna feel complete and whole again , and have faith and belief that this is not where my life will end.
As the first tear starts to roll down my face, and I feel my heart start to race, it makes me realize how much I want my life to be at a better place.
To take those steps to become better, and be my own trendsetter, I need to remain strong and also expressful, like I’m an open letter.
I need to stop letting my stressings, blind me from what things in my life are blessings.
It’s about that time for me to grow up and avoid all of the emotional blow-ups.
I also need to look at a lot of other people’s worse situations, and realize how sometimes I should embrace life like it’s a celebration.
I’m ready to take the first step to becoming more strong, and it’s not because the duration of my personal issues being long, but for seeing that not everything in my life is wrong.
It’s time for me to start practicing what I preach, then it’ll be easier to get to the place I’ve always struggled to try and reach.
I think I need to open up my heart and start risking. Its time to let some things out, the only thing is, who’d care enough to just listen. “
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